Pheromones - The Laws of Attraction and the Modern Dating Scene
 

The Laws of Attraction and the Modern Dating Scene

A useful, although reductive, theory on attraction comes from evolutionary psychology. It holds that we are drawn to others on the basis of our assessment of their reproductive fitness. We weigh up physical qualities (symmetry, health, youth, strength in men, child-bearing indicators in women), material possessions (wealth), social skills (status, charity, humour, confidence) and cultural factors (fashion, weight, skin tone, hair styles, body decoration). We have roughly standardized perceptions of 'attractive' individuals, though it can vary over history and in different parts of the world.




Generally speaking, we select partners that are roughly similar to our own level of 'reproductive attractiveness' (measured in the wide sense). This means that it is not only the most 'attractive' individuals who manage to form partnerships - there is someone for everyone.

An excellent book that deals with attraction from an evolutionary perspective is 'The Mating Mind: How Sexual Choice Shaped the Evolution of Human Nature' by Geoffrey Miller. His hypothesis is that a lot of how we conduct our lives e.g. high status jobs, creative work, being charitable or popular for example, sends signals to attract potential partners.

Ideas about compatibility include 'opposites attract' and 'like-minded attract'. There seems to be clinical support for both positions. On the one hand we may be drawn to individuals who have characteristics we lack. They may reflect our shadow side - the elements that reside within us but which we refuse to acknowledge. They may also balance or complement our personalities. Some examples of differences include highly-driven v. relaxed, artistic v. scientific, sporty v. sedate and introverted v. extroverted. On the other hand, like-minded individuals may connect well because it widens the field of interaction, for example sports lovers can play and watch games together, and extroverts can socialize happily. What seems important in either of these positions is that the underlying core values are congruent. Ethical and social ideals tend to be matched in solid partnerships.

Various factors can be at play during the initial attraction. Sometimes it begins as physical impulse - pheromones doing their work - and sometimes it starts as an emotional connection first. Usually it involves an implicit assessment of the other's suitability as a potential mate (genetic donor) and/or a long-term partner (protector of self and of future offspring). This entails a complex interplay of observation (often matching them up to our ideal, or even setting them up as an ideal), reaction (via chemicals and body language) and interaction.



An available person is likely to send out the right signals when they are self-contented. It is a clich??, but a relevant one - when we can accept and love ourselves, we are in a good position to be accepted and loved by another. Inner confidence makes itself visible to potential partners. It is more convincing than 'fake' confidence (though sometimes in imagining ourselves confident, we can become it). This is why many happily committed individuals can be so appealing to others.

There are more and more forums for finding love including internet, speed-dating, lonely-hearts columns and match-making services. There have been many success stories linked with these platforms and they are drawing a wide audience. They are effective in part because they exclude individuals who are not looking for romance. The drawbacks can be that we don't have time to see the individual in roles other than as a 'potential date'. Also, increasingly relationships begin in the virtual sphere (online, SMS texts) which can remove some of the depth of a real relationship including the pain of being rejected. For clients in therapy who are considering more traditional meeting grounds, we explore options such as taking up hobbies, playing sports, joining clubs or organizing friendly dinner parties (perhaps asking friends to bring a single friend). These activities are rewarding in their own right, and carry the bonus of forming friendships and partnerships.

 
 
     
 
 





Lean More and Choose The Best Pheromone for You

Pheromones are chemicals that send signals to other members of the same species. These signals could serve many purposes such as marking out territory (As dogs and cats do) or to mark a food trail (How ants all seem to converge on the same food source) or to send alarm signals warning other members of the species of impending danger. However, the most widely known purpose and the one which has...


Compliments are a simple but effective way to make a woman you are interested in feel special. However, most men don t know how to give good compliments. Here are just a few basic tips: Try to give a unique compliment about a certain characteristic that most people overlook. For example, never tell her how beautiful she is, because everyone has said that to her. Compliment a woman for her...


Many different pheromones products are now available on the market. Pheromone products come in all shapes and sizes. For example, you have an option to buy pheromone colognes, pheromone oils, pheromone perfumes, or pheromone concentrates. Also, pheromone products are available in either unscented or scented versions. Of course, men and women use different types of pheromone products - but there...


So, you ve decided to try speed dating, but you have no idea what you are going to ask your speed dates? Here are some speed dating questions that will help you get the information you want out of potential long-term partners: Do you believe in love at first sight? What do you think is the most important value in a relationship? When was your last relationship? How long did it...


If you ve never heard of pheromones it is time to learn about the part they play in your sex life. The concept of a human pheromone, or sexual scent of attraction, has been debated and researched for years. Using a brain imaging technique, Swedish researchers have shown that homosexual and heterosexual men respond differently to two odors that may be involved in sexual arousal, and that the...


Perfumes and special scents are often the first things that will be noticed when people walk into the room, so it s best to make sure you are wearing the perfume that best reflects the kind of attention your wanting, e.g. a light scent for an interview or a more powerful one on a romantic date. There are various ways to select the right perfume for yourself. Knowing how your tastes and styles...


Well, here we are in February and many people are celebrating St. Valentines. It is a good time to think about love and relationships to put a bit of warmth in our lives after a long winter. Today, I would like to look at what love is. The English language only has one word for love and it is used interchangeably for almost everything. We can say I love my husband and I love Chocolate....


The Man: Truth of the visual beign The article What Turns Them On explained about how men are visual being towards a woman s beauty. But don t go off thinking that all men are shallow just yet. They also seek long-term quality s in which good looks is not the #1 priority. Here is a list of what men usually look for in the short term and long term partner: A. At first sight 1....







 
 
 
 
 
 
 
(c) 2020 devilicious.net
Contact Us | About Us | Privacy Policy | RSS Feed | Pheromones